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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28042956">A Faint Divergence</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfusedUnit/pseuds/ConfusedUnit'>ConfusedUnit</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It's All Just a Game, Until You Get Hurt [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Barney Calhoun is a major character in chapter 5, Canon-Typical Violence, Drabble Collection, Fluff and Angst, Gen, additional characters and warnings pending, he's implied in other chapters, it's gonna be a mixed bag folks, panic attack in chapter 6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:48:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>16,155</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28042956</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ConfusedUnit/pseuds/ConfusedUnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A set of scenes that take place in the past in the Universe of Unreality.</p><p>Also, the drabble collection for my 12 Days of Ficmas this year!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>It's All Just a Game, Until You Get Hurt [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1902934</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Day 1 - A Confusing Feeling</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Day 1 - Bubby learns there's more than just one kind of love.<br/>Day 2 - Tommy knows a lot about grudges.<br/>Day 3 - Gordon gets a knock at his door.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bubby learns about his feelings, and learns that there's more than just the kind of love that Harold enjoys in his Christmas movies.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bubby didn't realize how long he'd been staring at Harold, until the other man had waved a hand in front of his eyes.</p><p>"Hello? Coomer to Bubby, come in Bubby." Harold chuckled quietly.</p><p>"What?" He huffed, narrowing his eyes. "What do you want?"</p><p>"Well," He shrugged his shoulders, turning around to wander across the room again. "I was going to ask you what movie you wanted to watch, but then I noticed you were staring at me." He turned around once he reached the TV, pointing at him. "And then, when I asked you if you were alright, you didn't say anything."</p><p>Shit, was that really what happened? Damn. He knew he'd been lost in thought, but he hadn't realized it had been that long. But he couldn't...exactly help it. Whenever they got permission to have their 'movie nights' as Harold had called them, his brain always went into overdrive about thoughts. ...Especially thoughts he didn't like to think about around the other scientists. He didn't entirely trust that his thoughts weren't hearable. ...He may have a few trust issues when it came to Black Mesa.</p><p>"...Like that." Harold was suddenly in front of him again, resting his hands gently on his shoulders. "Bubby, are you alright?"</p><p>"I..." He didn't like lying to Harold. Fuck. Guess...he was having this conversation. "...I'm thinking."</p><p>His eyes widened slightly in understanding, and he nodded. "It's safe to talk here, Bubby. As always. I promise."</p><p>"...Thank you." He sighed. With what data he'd put together, well...guess he might as well just come out and say it. "I think I love you."</p><p>Harold took his hands back, blinking. "I?" His eyes darted around for a moment as he thought, before he sat down on the couch next to Bubby. "...I'm not sure I'm following."</p><p>"I said-"</p><p>"No, I know what you said. But, Bubby-"</p><p>"I know you're married."</p><p>"That's not- the problem?" He ran a hand through his hair, nibbling on his lip as he focused on his thoughts again.</p><p>Bubby reached over, gently batting his face. "Stop that."</p><p>He dropped his lip. "Right, yes. You're right. Uhm." He looked over at him again. "...You said you were straight?"</p><p>"I am. ...I think? But according to what love is, and how I feel towards you, that means that I must be experiencing love towards you." He dug his nails into his pants. "I do not...understand it."</p><p>Harold stared at him for a moment, before his eyes widened again. He gently took Bubby's hand off of his leg. "...Bubby, do you know there are multiple kinds of love?"</p><p>"...No?"</p><p>"You don't know them?"</p><p>"I only know about the one you taught me about!"</p><p>Harold looked far too overwhelmed by this information, and he ran a hand through his hair again. "...I...hmm."</p><p>"...Are you alright?"</p><p>"No, not really. But this isn't about me right now." He looked over once more. "...Okay, so. Let me make sure I am up to speed, yes?"</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>"You think you are in love with me. Because you are feeling traits of love, and the only love you know about is romantic love. Am I correct?"</p><p>"Yeah, that's it."</p><p>Harold let out a slow breath, and took both his hands back to rub at his temples. "Okay. Let's...let's unpack this. Would you describe the feelings you are feeling?"</p><p>Bubby thought for a bit, adjusting his glasses. He struggled for a few minutes to get his words in order, but Harold just stayed by his side and waited for him. He always waited for him. Always such a kind man, for such an experiment of a human. He shook his head, before he sighed. "I..."</p><p>"Take your time. I will wait."</p><p>He closed his eyes and took a breath. "...When I see you, I feel...content. Pleasant. I enjoy seeing you happy, or eager to explain something, or passionate about your work. Our work. Getting to spend time with you is...a relief, an easing of anxieties I did not realize I was carrying. You show me...respect. Kindness. Something I do not get back in my lab, with the men and women who made me. You...you make me feel safe. For once in my life. Like I am...protected. And I have the urge to protect you in return." He stopped himself just barely from digging his nails in again. "...You've taught me things they never bothered to. Never thought I needed. They made me a human of their own design, Harold, but...you've taught me some of the more human lessons. Emotion. The value of my own personal thoughts. ...Maybe we haven't quite gotten empathy down entirely, but we're getting there." He nervously looked up at Harold. "...You've taught me how to be a person. And, despite my best damn efforts, I care about you."</p><p>Harold's eyes were blown wide, and he rubbed at them as he tried not to cry.</p><p>"...What kind of love is that?"</p><p>"That, my dear Bubby," He reached over, pulling him into a tight hug. "Sounds like a mix between familial, and friend, love."</p><p>"I don't have a family. I was...made."</p><p>He shoved his face into Bubby's hair, trying even harder not to cry. "You do now, Bubby. And it's me. You and me, against the world."</p><p>Bubby smiled a bit, feeling a tenseness behind his eyes, even if he didn't understand it. He hadn't learned, back then, what crying felt like. "...Wouldn't have it any other way."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I know Bubby/Coomer is a popular ship in the fandom I just really Really enjoy the dynamic of 'you've taken me as much out of a bad situation as you can and you keep helping me learn what those who raised me never taught me oh fuck this is a Family' and Bubby and Coomer are literally perfect for that.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Day 2 - The Forming and Healing of a Grudge</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy knows a lot about grudges, for good reason.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy had been told, when he was young, to be careful holding grudges.</p><p>His father had been the one to tell him that, when he was still small, that he must direct his anger with care. Sitting on a couch, a program on the screen in front of him that he could not read or understand, his dad gently ruffling his hair as he told him important information.</p><p>It wasn't healthy for most species in the universe to make and hold grudges, but it was especially not great for them. Beings made of star dust and solar flares, if they had a festering anger turn into a grudge, it would be very difficult to put that flame out. And Tommy had taken that to heart, remembered that once he'd been exploring Earth on his own.</p><p>Humans, however, seemed to hold grudges over even the smallest things. Someone messed up your lunch once? Time to never forgive them. Break something minor, like a borrowed keyboard, or an office coffee cup that someone else preferred to use? The grudge pact was sealed. In Tommy's professional opinion, he thought it was 'fucking bonkers', and he didn't understand it at all. With so much of the world to experience and explore, why spend so much time being angry?</p><p>He later realized it was tenseness, an anxiety and stress constantly bubbling under the skin, that caused humans to be so aggressive at the smallest of flaw. He was disheartened to discover that this state was in fact preferable, to upper management in businesses and laboratories.</p><p>Well...all the more reason for him to take that Human Resources job his dad offered him, right? Plus, the irony of having a non-human be their HR guy was far too amusing to him. Help others, and get free entertainment out of it, plus learn a thing or two about human nature. Sounded perfect to him.</p><p> </p><p>It was years until he thought about grudges again, this time after he'd transferred to be taking care of the 'Resonance Project', which had long since changed it's tune, ha ha, to being what felt like a dumping ground for the experiments Black Mesa didn't want to deal with anymore, but didn't want to get rid of either.</p><p>His friends, of course. Black Mesa might give up on them, but like hell he was gonna do the same. These were his. His friends. His humans. You could take them from his cold dead and burnt out hands.</p><p>The lingering anger had built as they'd disappeared, but he'd ignored it. The metaphorical festering wound in his metaphorical heart was pushed to the side, as he tried to help those who remained. As he tried to hold onto hope that his dad could fix things. But once he'd arrived, and seen what had been done to his friends, heard what they'd said, or hadn't said...the smoldering embers burned into a deep, intense flame.</p><p>The grudge was sealed. Black Mesa would never be forgiven for their transgressions.</p><p> </p><p>Benry was an...interesting person. Not from Black Mesa, and really cagey about where he actually came from. Tommy couldn't blame him, he couldn't even begin to explain where he was born and grew up. But there was something about him that seemed, familiar. But he couldn't piece it together.</p><p>Until he heard the other tell his name to someone. And then it clicked.</p><p>Not Benry. Benrey. Two e's. And Benrey-With-Two-E's was someone he'd most certainty heard of before. From his dad.</p><p>He hadn't been told what had caused his dad's anger towards the other man, but he could tell a grudge when he saw one. His dad rarely held them, in fact the only two that Tommy himself knew of were against Benrey-With-Two-E's and one against some higher up at Aperture Science.</p><p>He'd known a bit about the latter, that his dad really hated someone there with a vicious passion, and that when he was a kid his dad said he had to stop coming with him to work and playing with the other children there. It had made him sad, because he'd liked visiting with the human children, and he'd gotten super good at not revealing he wasn't human! Plus, they repeated so much science that their parents taught them, which meant he learned more. He'd even made a friend. But, well...when his dad said something was dangerous, that meant it was really, really bad.</p><p>But as for Benrey, he had literally no idea what the other had done to gain his ire. And even when Benrey had approached him later on, and asked him what his dad's problem was with him, he didn't give any info. Just asked why Mr. Coolatta couldn't let go.</p><p>After Tommy explained how grudges worked for them, Benrey had just widened his eyes and nodded, and never brought it up again. For Benrey's sake, Tommy let it go.</p><p>It probably wasn't important to their situation, anyway.</p><p> </p><p>During the Resonance Cascade, he'd already been on edge. Nothing like that had happened on his watch, and he couldn't believe it was happening now. Why was it? He knew the speed was a factor, but even then, why had it caused such a catastrophic failure?</p><p>And then while searching, he'd heard Bubby berating Gordon, outright declaring it was the younger man's fault, and that didn't sit right with him. Gordon was a respected member of their group, and whatever had gone wrong was obviously so much bigger than just the few of them.</p><p>He set that aside, ignoring his frustration to keep moving forward. For the good of their party.</p><p>And yet, to quote Benrey, they kept fucking up all the time. Things kept going wrong, danger kept getting worse, and all he could wonder in the back of his head is where his dad was. Did he know what was going on? Would they all be okay? Why was everyone being so antagonistic, especially to Gordon?</p><p>Tommy saw movement, lifted his gun and shot, startled when his shot hit glass instead of a target. Had it really been a flash of light that he'd seen? Was he that out of it? He had no time to process, having to hurry through the door, and startled when Benrey was crushed under it. Why had he done that? Why had he shot that, and why had Benrey just lied there?</p><p>He almost felt a bubbling under his skin, and he blinked rapidly as he processed. Tension. Anxiety. Stress, just beneath. Increased anger, unprovoked reactions.</p><p>Shit.</p><p> </p><p>He'd heard them. Tommy had heard Benrey and Bubby talking, and he'd done nothing. How could he? He was so focused on keeping everyone alive, he had no time to process their rambling nonsense.</p><p>And now it had cost them everything. His failure had cost the whole group valuable time, valuable resources, and a friend's stability.</p><p>He reached out his shaking hand from his crumpled spot on the floor, focusing on the cords. At least that confirmed it wasn't a friend's life. Though...he checked on another cord as well, finally letting out a breath as it was alright too.</p><p>He can't believe he did that to Bubby. He'd justified it at the time, even let it temper his anger to a simmer. But now he felt no anger, no fury. He felt grief, and hollow. In spending so much time around humans, he'd picked up a trait or two, but he'd never have even had nightmares about grudges being one of them. A time out for Bubby it certainly was, but it was a betrayal of it's own, too. A 'taste of one's own medicine'. And Tommy did that to him.</p><p>He pressed his face into his knees. He'd...he'd get up soon, and...go find Gordon. Then they'd find the rest of the team, get everyone back together, and they'd...fix it. They'd fix everything. They'd fix everything.</p><p>They had to. All they had was each other. They couldn't afford for anyone to break for good.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Tommy lore? Tommy lore. And faint Benrey lore.</p><p>And I don't know if it's clear there, but the reason Benrey let himself get crushed under the door was to make Tommy have to think about what was going on. Because Tommy had told him about grudges, and anger, and he wanted Tommy to realize he was getting pretty close to human there.<br/>...Of course he then forgot what he was doing after they slept and then messed up big time but hey mistakes happen sometimes.</p><p>Also, me, seeding in bits of backstory I've had for a while but haven't shared yet, and might not for a while? It's more likely than you'd think.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Day 3 - Unexpected Events</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Gordon gets a knock at his door.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Gordon hadn't slept.</p><p>Not for very long, at least, over the past week. Joshua had woken him up, sobbing, and had been afraid to sleep since. And refused to leave Gordon's side for more than a few minutes at a time. Whenever he'd asked what had him so upset, the young boy just started crying again, so he gave up on that quickly.</p><p>He'd made a fort out of the couch, hoping that the bit of fun would brighten up Joshua's mood, but it hadn't been as effective as he'd hoped. He'd made his favorite snacks, put on his favorite movies and shows, but nothing had worked in getting him to relax and sleep. Any sleep he had gotten was fitful, often only an hour at a time, and Gordon was running out of ideas of what to do.</p><p>He was sitting next to Joshua, where the boy had finally fallen asleep for a bit again, and considered calling their father for help, when he heard a knock at the door. He tensed, glancing over to his brother, but relaxed when he hadn't woken.</p><p>He got up, quietly approaching the door and opening it slightly. "What? Hello?" He whispered, poking his head out. He blinked quickly. "...Oh, hey. You're...you were one of my classmates, right?"</p><p>The younger man looked very uncomfortable to be there, shifting from foot to foot. "Uh. Yeah. It's, uh, me. Josh, from college. Uh," He adjusted the bag in his arms, before he shoved it out in front of him. "Take this."</p><p>Gordon scrambled to grab the canvas bag before it could fall, looking back up at him. "What's this about?"</p><p>"A, uh. Mutual...friend. Wanted me to, um. Give you that. Said you needed it?" Now that he looked closer, the guy seemed pale as a sheet, and twice as likely to go flying with a soft breeze. "That it, uhm. Was important. That you get it."</p><p>Gordon glanced over Josh's shoulder, raising an eyebrow. He felt like he was being watched. He looked back at the guy. "...Sure thing. Thanks, I guess."</p><p>"You gotta play it. Uh. It's. That's why." He shifted again. "Game design major."</p><p>"I was a computer science major."</p><p>"Same difference." He rolled his shoulders.</p><p>"It's really not..." He ran a hand through his messy hair. "Like, okay. Thanks for this tech or whatever. I really gotta go, my brother's-"</p><p>"Just. Don't forget. To uh, look at it. It's important? Uhm." He stepped back. "Disk is in the drive. Just. Boot it up. Don't forget."</p><p>He blinked slowly. "...Yeah, okay, bud. Sure thing." He waved slightly. "...Buh-bye now."</p><p>He took another step back, before he sprinted down the street.</p><p>Gordon looked down at the bag in his other arm, before he sighed. He was too tired for this. He closed the door, and put the bag on the floor by the coat rack.</p><p>Whatever that nonsense was that he'd been given, that was future him's problem. Right now, he needed to make sure his brother was okay.</p><p> </p><p>A few weeks later, after the household had gotten back to and settled into a calm sleeping schedule, Gordon almost tripped over a bag as he attempted to leave the house to go shopping. He blinked slowly, picking it up and looking inside.</p><p>"Oh. Right." He glanced at the clock, before moved over and set the bag on the couch instead. "...I'll check it out tonight, after I pick up Joshua from school."</p><p>He pulled his hair back with an orange scrunchie, before he pulled up his hoodie. He smiled to himself, as he headed off on his errands.</p><p>"Maybe it'll even be fun."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Gordon 'There's No Way This Weird Shit Will Ever Be Relevant And Maybe It'll At Least Be Worth A Laugh' Dyson, everyone.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Day 4 - Lunch Club</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dr. Freeman and Dr. Coomer, before everything, used to meet up over pizza to talk theory.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I kinda fudged the details about Dr. Freeman's crystal experiments but in my defense I am not a science like At All<br/>I work at a library I don't know anything about science or maths</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me, Dr. Coomer."</p><p>Harold smiled as he sat down, folding his hands together as he looked across the table at Dr. Freeman. The theoretical physicist had been hired recently, and already had attached himself to Harold like a lost duckling. He wasn't the only one the young man had gotten attached to of course. Isaac had been the one to even get him a job there, Tommy had started fussing over him as soon as they'd met (in his own Tommy way), and Calhoun went drinking with him at least once a week.</p><p>But Harold was the one he searched for when he needed to talk through his work. He was even better than attempting the Rubber Duck method, as he would often remember whatever he was told, even if he didn't quite understand it.</p><p>"Of course, Gordon. I'm always glad to help, and it's always good to spend time together."</p><p>Dr. Freeman laughed, running a hand through his hair. It was down, today, slicked back and clean. His hair was still a bit long, and there were bets running on how long it took until he got reprimanded. "I'm sure the free pizza helps, too."</p><p>"You wound me, Gordon." He dramatically threw his head back,  pressing the back of his hand to his forehead. "I care for you far more than I care for pizza."</p><p>He raised an eyebrow.</p><p>"...Though I will do quite a bit for a good veggie pizza."</p><p>"There's the truth." He laughed, entire body shaking as he did so.</p><p>"Well, you know Bubby. He hates that kind of pizza with a passion, and since we always share, I can never get some of my own. Other than with you."</p><p>"He's...surprisingly picky about food, for someone who doesn't go out very much."</p><p>"Careful, Gordon." Harold smiled kindly. "He's got a lot going on."</p><p>"Sorry, right. I don't...yeah." His hand bounced on the table. "Sorry."</p><p>He reached across the table to gently press the hand to the table. "Don't. You're going to hurt again. And it's not a problem."</p><p>"S- ...yeah." He shifted a bit in his seat.</p><p>He leaned back. "Do you have your Tangle?"</p><p>"No, I- left it in my other labcoat."</p><p>"...Hmm." Harold searched through his pockets. "Does pressing buttons help you?"</p><p>"I- uh, yeah?"</p><p>"Here." He pulled out a Sinclair Scientific calculator, holding it out. "I forgot to give this back to Bubby before I left the lab, but I'm sure he'll be glad it's gone. He always gets so upset when I use a calculator."</p><p>"Why?" He took the calculator, clicking at the buttons. "And thanks."</p><p>"Because he's too smart, he says. Tells me to just ask him instead. Sometimes, I just prefer using the device."</p><p>Dr. Freeman nodded, settling as he clicked the buttons more. He started to tap out a sort of pattern, though it wasn't one that Harold could read.</p><p>"What is that sequence, Gordon?"</p><p>"Oh- It doesn't get the point across, because you're just hearing the sound of the buttons activating, but it's like...how to explain." He rolled his shoulders. "It's like, it's the song that the crystals have been playing, if that makes sense? Remember my theory I wrote about in my thesis?"</p><p>"Of course, Gordon."</p><p>"Well, I've been putting that to use with the crystals that they've been giving us here are work. We're remaining low in power at the moment, but the crystals still sing. It's quiet, though. But I've been keeping track of the tune. They all sing similarly, but of course there's fluctuations depending on the power of the beam we hit it with." His hands shook with excitement, even as he clicked on the calculator. "But the resonation is similar enough due to the material being the same. If we can look into the resonation itself, we might be able to actually see if you can resonate something at a high enough frequency to do more than just hear it. We'd just...have to tune it."</p><p>"Like a radio?" He gestured with his slice of pizza, before taking a bite.</p><p>"Exactly! We can dial in the same song with the same power and the same frequency in the same sample. But if we could get the right frequency and power fluctuations to ring out the same song from a different sample, at a higher level of energy...who knows what that kind of connection could cause?"</p><p>"And this has been on your mind?"</p><p>"Of course! It's my life's work."</p><p>He chuckled. "You're still in your twenties, Gordon. You've got a lot of life ahead of you."</p><p>"Yeah, but...still." He smiled. "The rest of the team doesn't always get it. Why I talk about it like this. But..."</p><p>Harold nodded in understanding. "It's your focus, right?"</p><p>"Exactly. They don't understand it. But I do. And I need to learn more."</p><p>Harold smiled. "You're going to change the world, Gordon."</p><p>Dr. Freeman chuckled. "I hope you're right, Dr. Coomer."</p><p>He took a final bite of pizza. "I know I am."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Day 5 - Optical Non-Illusion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dr. Coomer has a surprise for Bubby.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harold was going to owe Dr. Freeman for this one, big time, but whatever he had to do to get this? Was absolutely worth it.</p>
<p>He smiled to himself, as he watched Bubby get ready, putting a warmer sweater on underneath his lab coat. "Why are you making me get so dressed up, anyway?"</p>
<p>"It's a secret, I told you."</p>
<p>"I hate secrets."</p>
<p>He smiled, pointing at him. "You'll like this one."</p>
<p>"So you keep claiming. Why are you so worried about the time? You never schedule anything we do."</p>
<p>Ah, right, what was the time? He checked his watch, letting out a breath. Plenty of time, if they were quick. Not too quick, though. Didn't want to be suspicious.</p>
<p>"...Dr. Coomer?"</p>
<p>He blinked. "Ah, because today, we are on a time table!"</p>
<p>"It's night time." He crossed his arms after he buttoned his lab coat, raising an eyebrow.</p>
<p>"And how correct you are, professor." He turned around, double checking his pockets for everything he'd need. He nodded to himself.</p>
<p>"Doctor!"</p>
<p>"Of course, doctor." He smiled, looking back at him. "Come along. We've got just enough time to make it."</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Harold's anxiety began to rise, as they made their way through the various halls of the complex. He'd planned out everything to the letter, but he was still worried they'd get caught. Luckily for him, he'd been able to make sure his clones were in all the places they'd expect one of him to be. No need to look if just one's missing, especially not late at night. Probably asleep, right? And if they couldn't find their perfect scientist either, well, it was probably movie night.</p>
<p>He hoped quite seriously that they'd take that at face value. As far as he was aware, they'd never actually done surveillance on his dorm, but you could never be too careful when you were two experiments at a research facility where most of their experiments don't legally exist.</p>
<p>"...Are you okay?" Bubby whispered to him, as they waited for an elevator to lower.</p>
<p>"Yes, my dear Bubby, I am. Just, lost in thought, it seems."</p>
<p>"...About whatever the hell this surprise is? Where are we going, anyway? Why down?"</p>
<p>"Trust me." He turned and smiled at him. "You'll like it. We just have to be very, very careful."</p>
<p>The elevator chimed, though it took a moment longer than expected to open. For the faintest moment, the light in the elevator seemed to flicker yellow, but it was gone as quick as it arrived. The door opened to an empty hallway, and Harold led the way down it. He stepped over a spilled soda can, as it poured soda among the tiles.</p>
<p>They were near the middle depths of the facility, the barrier between the older science labs, and the newer ones. The stomping grounds of the guards, and maintenance workers, and all the others who weren't scientists but Black Mesa still needed around to keep things working.</p>
<p>Harold smiled to himself, as he led the way through the more worn down halls and repurposed rooms, feeling a bit more at ease. Black Mesa's eyes didn't see down here, they let their guards handle themselves. Which was fine by everyone else, having the ever present eyes of scientists and overpompous researchers was rarely an enjoyable experience.</p>
<p>Bubby, however, was very obviously out of his element. He reached out quickly, gripping onto Harold's sleeve.</p>
<p>He turned to look at him. "It's alright, Bubby. They won't look for you down here. That's why we're here." He waved at a group of people sitting at a table as they walked past.</p>
<p>They all smiled and waved back. "One day, I'll take you on a tour, and maybe we can join a pickup game of cards. But for now, this is just the road we're taking to our prize."</p>
<p>"You come down here?" He clung close, glancing around, constantly waiting for a threat to arrive.</p>
<p>"They're rather welcoming of science staff who aren't overwhelmingly aggressive towards them." He chuckled softly. "Besides, I've got an in. You do too, after all."</p>
<p>"What are you talking about-"</p>
<p>He knocked on a mostly open door, gently nudging it open as he entered. "Hello? Anyone home?"</p>
<p>A security guard startled on the couch of the hodgepodge breakroom, almost falling off of the couch as he hurried to his feet. "Aw hell, sorry Doc, I lost track of time. Hope I'm not runnin' late?" He dusted off the front of his vest, before picking up his helmet and putting it back in place and walked over. He smiled, holding out a hand. "And a pleasure to meet you too, Doctor...?"</p>
<p>Harold nudged him lightly. "He's asking your name."</p>
<p>"Uhh. Bubby." He looked at the offered hand, before clinging tighter to Harold's arm. "...Doctor Bubby."</p>
<p>The guard took his hand back with a nod. "Sorry, not very touchy?"</p>
<p>"Not with people he doesn't know, no." Harold smiled. "Nothing personal."</p>
<p>"Freeman told me as much. Guess I just didn't think that through. That's my bad." He laughed. "Anyway, name's Calhoun. Barney Calhoun's the full thing, but most people just call me Calhoun these days." He gestured towards the door. "Come on, let's get you on your way to your evening, yeah?"</p>
<p>"Wait, why do we need a security guard?" Bubby looked up at Harold, even as they both followed him.</p>
<p>"Well, Bubby, he's giving us an escort! To make sure we make it to our destination safely."</p>
<p>"Safely from what?"</p>
<p>"The coats." Calhoun rolls his shoulders. "Freeman told me, how they don't really like you out and about at night. Well, if we're supposed to be their eyes and ears, then wherever we go is supposed to be secure, right?" He turned around, walking backwards as he continued talking. He moved his hands along with his words. "So, by that logic, that means that if someone's with us, that they're supposed to be there, yeah? Well, that means that all we need to do is get a network of people who all know how to keep their mouths shut, arrange the shifts in advance, and have a guard walkin' with ya, and suddenly," He moves his hands as if mimicking an explosion. "poof, no more problem."</p>
<p>Bubby looked up at Harold. "...You arranged all of this, to take me to a surprise?"</p>
<p>"Not quite! Gordon actually arranged this. I just kept track of the date."</p>
<p>"And besides," Calhoun continued, grin on his face. "We've already got this network set up, ya' know? Gets real boring out here, had to come up with somethin' fun to do. So here we are," He walked onto a maintnence elevator, waiting for the other two to join him before he hit the button to go up. "with a little group of guards who can usually work these shifts once or twice a month, that just so happen to line up in such a way that anyone who wants to take the chance can have one."</p>
<p>Bubby's eyes darted around again. "Chance at what?"</p>
<p>"You still haven't told him?"</p>
<p>"It's a surprise, Calhoun!"</p>
<p>"...'Course, why'd I ask?" He chuckled again. As they got closer and closer to the top, he pulled up his walkie-talkie. "Hey, Sisk? You there?"</p>
<p>After a moment, a voice replied. "Howdy, Calhoun. I'm at my post, yeah. You on rounds?"</p>
<p>"You know it. Just wanted to let you know, heard a couple coyotes are out and about on the property tonight." He still gestured with his hand, even as he spoke into the radio.</p>
<p>"Right. No worries, we can let a few pups wander the place."</p>
<p>"That's what I say. They were here way before we got here. Be here long after we're gone, I bet."</p>
<p>The voice over the radio chuckled. "You know it. Keep safe out there."</p>
<p>"You too, Sisk. Catch you after work." He put his radio back in place, grinning wide. "Place is all yours."</p>
<p>"What place-" Bubby cut himself off, as the elevator stopped in a small room. He quickly looked across to the door.</p>
<p>"Thank you, Calhoun. I appreciate this more than you know." Harold led Bubby off of the elevator.</p>
<p>"You're more than welcome, Doc." Calhoun grimaced. "Ain't right how those people are treatin' you. Either of you. Least I can do is give you some hospitality." He gave a half hearted salute. "I'll be back in a few hours. You want to leave earlier, use that radio on the shelf over there, page Sisk and ask for a coyote check. He'll call me and I'll come get ya'."</p>
<p>"Thank you."</p>
<p>"Aw, don't thank me too much. It'll boost my ego too big, and then how'll I beat Freeman at those races? I won't fit!" He laughed, before he pressed a button, and the elevator went back down.</p>
<p>Harold took a breath, before he moved to the door.</p>
<p>"Wait-" Bubby clung tighter than he ever had before, nails digging into the sleeves of Harold's coat. "Where are we, Harold?"</p>
<p>He smiled, pushing the door open. "Outside."</p>
<p>Whatever Bubby was about to reply with was cut off with a gasp, as he was led outside into the desert cold. He stared straight up into the sky, in their little dark patch of nature, wind blowing softly between the buildings around them.</p>
<p>Harold felt his heart swell, as Bubby stared up with awe, seeing the night sky for the first time from the outdoors.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Reservations for 'Patch of Sandy Dirt, New Mexico' are made a month in advance and are assigned to you based on what day the guards can all work.</p>
<p>I'm really pleased with a subtle little thing in the text this time. I didn't expect to put it there, but it felt right.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Day 6 - Data Corruption</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dr. Freeman has a crisis. Good thing he has a friend who can hunt him down.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content Warning: Panic attack. Dr. Freeman has a pretty major panic attack over the duration of most of this piece. Summary at the bottom if needed.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dr. Freeman was supposed to go into work. He knew that, as he sat up in bed, as he stared down at his hands, as he glanced around the room to look for a calendar. He found one in the kitchen, and he stared at it for a while. It was flipped to December. None of the days were crossed off. He didn't know what day it was.</p><p>His pager went off, on the counter, and he stared at it for a while, before he ignored it and returned to his room. He got dressed, taking longer than usual to get ready due to staring at himself in the mirror for a while. He felt, and looked, exhausted. He'd had constant dreams of tests, which had given him difficulty sleeping. He'd consistently woken up freezing cold, no matter how much he was bundled up.</p><p>He wasn't sure of much, anymore. But something felt wrong. And listening to his gut feeling hadn't been wrong yet.</p><p>He left his pager on the table, tossing his phone next to it as well. He wouldn't need either of them, where he was going. They wouldn't be able to find him through them, there.</p><p>Not that deep into the depths of Black Mesa.</p><p>He needed to find Calhoun. He'd be able to tell him if he was just being paranoid again, or if something was really up. All he had to do was track him down. And he hadn't seen him in...a while. He didn't know how long. He didn't know much of anything, and he hated it.</p><p>He left his dorm, walking with purpose through the halls until he got to a tram station. As he waited for the tram to arrive, he went through his plan in his head. If he got close to Sector C, there was a tram stop that led down a path into the mesa. If he took that, and a few more turns where they wouldn't need his clearance, then he could eventually find a way below.</p><p>He stepped onto the tram, watching as one passed the other direction. A Dr. Coomer's eyes looked at him from the other tram. He turned away.</p><p>Eventually he stepped off the tram, onto the smaller platform, and quickly started walking off again. He ignored the scientists and guards he passed, trying to get as far into the facility as possible.</p><p>The VOX system rang out. "Dr. Freeman. Please report to: Sector C Anomalous Materials. Immediately."</p><p>He clenched his teeth, taking off down the hall in a run. Everything in him told him he was in danger, he had to escape. There was one person he knew he could trust. He just had to get to him.</p><p>-</p><p>It had taken Dr. Freeman far longer than he'd wanted, to get onto the maintenance elevator that was currently on it's way down. He had no idea where he was, anymore, but he knew that this would take him where he wanted to go. That was all he needed.</p><p>His breathing was rough, stuttered, and he wrapped his arms around himself as if it would hold him together. The entire science department was searching for him, now. He was terrified of what would happen if they caught him. What if they were hiding something? What if they'd lied to him about what was going on? ...Or what if he was the one acting out of line, running away like a child afraid of the dark?</p><p>He shook his head as his breath picked up speed again, trying to calm himself down. He didn't have time for a panic attack. There was never really a good time for a panic attack, but this especially wasn't a good one.</p><p>He opened his eyes as the elevator reached the bottom, and they immediately widened.</p><p>It was far too clean. Well, there was dust everywhere, cobwebs in the corners of hallways, but there wasn't stuff everywhere. There weren't excess wooden boxes waiting around to be used for building materials, weren't handmade tables and chairs to use for walkway seating, and the nearby room was empty of anything that could even be used for a breakroom.</p><p>"...Something's wrong." He whispered to himself, before his breathing stuttered through his throat. He couldn't talk right now. Not with his emotions so high. He slowly pushed himself to his feet, shuffling off of the elevator.</p><p>Maybe...maybe he was just in a bad part of the complex. Maybe they'd never gotten spread out this far, so they'd never furnished it. Maybe they just didn't need all this space.</p><p>But his brain was screaming at him, that something was wrong, that this was dangerous, that he needed help. He wished he'd taken his phone.</p><p>He took off running down the hall, heart pounding in his chest and his ears. Where was everyone? This floor was always full of people, either on breaks or vacation or just having the day off, but it looked like a ghost town. Like nobody had used the place in years. Had they moved to a different location, maybe with more real dorms? But no, that couldn't be right, because Calhoun would have told him. He told him everything. Well, not everything, but most things.</p><p>His hands were shaking. His entire body was shaking. He felt like he was going to crumble apart, and he wished he could cry out, call for Calhoun, for anyone, but the most he could do was make tiny sobbing gasps. He stumbled over his own two feet, falling to the ground in a panic, curling in on himself in fear.</p><p>It took Dr. Freeman a while to realize someone was talking to him. He struggled to open his eyes, looking up from his spot on the floor. His eyes widened as he realized who was sitting on the floor in front of him.</p><p>"yo, uh...freeman, you good?" Benrey looked down at him, anxiety plain on his face. "you're looking at me now, that's...that's better than before."</p><p>He couldn't even try to speak, in that moment. He knew he couldn't do it. But he also wasn't sure if Benrey knew sign, and just the thought that he might not be able to communicate what was going on started him into another panic spiral, and his breathing hitched again as his hands shook too hard to even try to talk.</p><p>"woah, man, hey. uh...let benny help you please?" He rested a hand on the scientist's shoulder. "i got the mad speedrun strats for panic% runs. please?"</p><p>He had no idea what half of the words of that second sentence were, but he just nodded quickly in reply.</p><p>The musical tone hit him before even the physical cause of it, and he stared at Benrey. What a beautiful sound, he thought, before he was caught off guard by the glowing orb of deep blue that hit his chest. Several more of the orbs followed the first one, and he felt himself relaxing quite quickly. So quickly, in fact, that his after panic wave of exhaustion rolled over him, and almost put him to sleep.</p><p>The sound stopped, and Benrey pat him gently on the shoulder. "you okay, man?"</p><p>He couldn't handle the words at that moment, nodding slowly.</p><p>"...what are you doing down here?"</p><p>He tried to get his hands to move properly, but the bigger signs were a struggle, and he gave up on fingerspelling when he realized that Benrey definitely had no idea what he was saying. He sighed.</p><p>"...okay, idea. i'm gonna ask you who you want me to take you too, and then we're gonna get you, uh, out of here, deal? because like, they're tearing apart the upstairs floors looking for you." He focused for a few moments, three more tones ringing out as three different orbs floated in the air. A light blue, a green, and a yellow.</p><p>Dr. Freeman blinked slowly. He'd had enough of a day that sure, yeah, this might as well happen, you know? Why not. But then, he considered he question, and reached out to point at the yellow orb. Tommy was always good for help with panic attacks, and he'd be able to translate for Benrey. A win win.</p><p>"okay, cool. tommy's been worried sick, couldn't find you anywhere." He paused for a moment, shifting from foot to foot, before he quickly picked Dr. Freeman up in his arms. "you're, uh, totally uncool right now, can't walk like at all. so i guess i'll just have to carry you, then."</p><p>Dr. Freeman leaned his head against Benrey's chest, as he felt movement, heard steps change before the rumbling of the maintenance elevator started up again. He slowly opened his eyes, staring down the hall as they rose out of sight. 'It's empty.' He thought to himself, wishing he could explain why this was distressing him so much. But the more he thought about it, the more it made his head hurt. Eventually, he gave up, resting his head back against Benrey again.</p><p>His eyes closed, and he drifted off to sleep.</p><p>-</p><p>Dr. Freeman slowly sat up in bed, rubbing at his eyes. He felt exhausted, and cold, and barely kept down a shiver. He slowly rolled out of bed, moving through the dorm into the kitchen. A December calendar hung on the wall, with no days crossed off. He didn't know what day it was. He wasn't sure he cared.</p><p>His pager started to go off, and he sluggishly looked over, before picking it up. Some kind of test on his crystals, a more minor one. He was sure he already had that data, but hey, doesn't pay to argue with the boss.</p><p>He considered for a moment, not going into work. But only for a moment, and he blamed it on the dream from the night before. It had felt so vivid, it had unsettled him. But there's no way he would have gone downstairs, and had it be empty.</p><p>He took the pager with him, as he moved off to get dressed. It was time for another test, after all. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Summary: Dr. Freeman wakes up. He starts to question how long it's been since he last knew the day. Becoming distressed, he runs from other scientists to get down to the guard halls, and discovers them empty and abandoned. He becomes more upset, before Benrey locates him, calms him down with Sweet Voice, and starts off to take him to Tommy.</p><p>Dr. Freeman wakes up. He doesn't care what the day is. He gets ready for work, and heads in. He has a job to do, after all.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Day 7 - Defensive Action</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Benrey and Mr. Coolatta know each other. Two protectors, each of different sides. Doesn't make for a good introduction.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>*claps hands* benrey lore, benrey lore</p>
<p>when envisioning this Xen, please imagine the Xen from the game Black Mesa. it's so pretty and it absolutely is what this Xen is based on.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Xen was a nice place, if Benrey was honest. Certainly one of the nicer places he'd spent his time. Plenty of places to go, flora to see, fauna to encounter. No fighting for his life, no hiding from assaulters, no threat of hostility due to his form and abilities.</p>
<p>Border worlds, he'd discovered, were fucking awesome.</p>
<p>No one asked questions, or at least no one asked questions he didn't want to answer. They just wanted people to be safe, while they visited. Because being a border world, most creatures didn't come by to stay. They came by to stop at the last planet they'd get a chance to for a long while, gather supplies, see the sights, and move on.</p>
<p>That had been Benrey's intention at first, when he'd arrived. But he quickly realized that he didn't really...want to leave. He felt safe there, safe for the first time in a very long time. He could talk to people, there. The vortigaunts would reply to him, even if he didn't understand them at first. But they, like most beings in the universe, understood the meanings of colors, so he had predominantly used his Sweet Voice to communicate.</p>
<p>Eventually, they had taught him how to focus, to be able to hear the unspoken words used by many of the native creatures of Xen. Other creatures that came to visit referred to it as a 'hivemind', but that wasn't quite correct. Benrey felt it was closer to turning on and off a radio, able to tune into the conversations if you wanted to, but easy enough to avoid if you didn't.</p>
<p>And he'd stayed. He'd found a place to call home, finally, and he latched onto it and clung. His abilities recovered, the longer he stayed, the more he attuned himself to the unique energy that Xen produced. The planet welcomed him as one of their own. And in return, he appointed himself a protector.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>He felt the distressed wail of the Broodmother, too far away to hear it. But it pushed him to stand, floating through the air to check the area. She was distraught, unable to find some of her children. They would not respond to her cries. Something was wrong.</p>
<p>He sent back a few comforting tones, as he looked around. He would find them, he reassured her, or he would find the cause, and take care of it. He flew over a mountain, body transforming to be more humanoid in appearance, clothes that of a sleek spaceship crew. He landed quietly, glancing around the area. His eyebrows raised.</p>
<p>Someone had set up camp there. Some sort of tents had been put up, reaching the top and sides of the cavern entrance. There were also tables outside the tent, with various pieces of equipment scattered across. And...some sort of computer device? It looked really primitive, but hey, maybe he couldn't judge. He didn't even own any tech, anymore.</p>
<p>His eyes narrowed, however, when he saw what looked like some kind of orange and black robot wandering over to the table, one of the Broodmother's children in it's hands. He growled quietly, reaching up to close the space helmet, as he moved closer. The unit opened a small cage, putting the crab within and closing the door.</p>
<p>He lunged across the remaining space, crashing into the unit with a loud crash, knocking it to the ground. He snarled, digging his claws into the less protected pieces of the outer metal plating, and tearing pieces away.</p>
<p>He stared down at his hands, as blood dripped off of them, before looking at the creature below him. It wasn't a robot. It was a creature inside a metal suit. The creature was panicking, shouting words in a language that he didn't quite understand. He was about to climb off, try to communicate in another way, when the door to the tent flew open, and another orange and black suit crashed out, holding a weapon.</p>
<p>He snapped, launching himself at the second creature. They were now a threat. They could not be allowed to stay.</p>
<p>He took out the two creatures within minutes, and he slowly sunk to the ground. A protozoan floated over from around a rock, cooing a tone at him. He held out his claws to the creature, allowing it to investigate the blood as he was lost in thought. Why were creatures, capable of communication, coming to Xen and taking the Broodmother's children?</p>
<p>He blinked slowly as he felt the protozoan bump against his head, and he looked at his claws to see that they were clean. "...thanks." He stood up again, moving into the tent this time. There wasn't anything inside that told him why the creatures were there, at least not that he could tell. All he found that he cared about were a few more cages with the crabs in them. He was able to rescue three of them with his healing beam, but it was too late for two of the others. He let the three out of their cages, directing them to go wait outside, while he gathered the other two. The Broodmother would want them back regardless.</p>
<p>He returned outside, watching the crabs leap and play with the protozoan. It raised his spirits a bit, to see that they hadn't been fully hardened by this experience. They were resilient little things. He let out the last crab, watching them frolic together for a few moments. "hey, uh. you hurry on home. tell her i'll be there soon, just got some...stuff to clean up." The crabs chittered, before heading off together, protozoan slowly drifting after them.</p>
<p>It took a while for him to clean up the area, bodies of the creatures thrown haphazardly in the tent, blood cleaned from the rocks. He didn't know if they were poisonous. Or, toxic? He never could remember which one was which. Regardless, he didn't know what they were, and he wasn't willing to take chances.</p>
<p>He'd also warped the laptop, and one of the mini crystal power stations they'd built, away to his home. Might as well take their shit since they wouldn't need it anymore. Which just left his final task. He gathered the two crabs into his arms again, floating up and away to the Broodmother.</p>
<p>She cried out in sadness when he arrived, but thanked him through the tones for returning her children to her. He promised he would continue to protect. It was his job, after all.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>The creatures were called 'humans', he discovered through research on the laptop he'd stolen. And while their entertainment was fantastic, even if he didn't understand how he could get their planet's internet from so far away, they would not fuck off and leave the planet alone.</p>
<p>First it had been the Broodmother's children that they had wanted to 'study', apparently they were 'scientists', which meant they needed to 'learn about the natural and unnatural world'. Even though Xen was natural, thank you? Hello? Why were humans so dumb?</p>
<p>Then some of the plants had started to go missing in the tented areas. The ecosystem could manage without them, but who knew what they'd do on a different world? They sure were being stupidly careless.</p>
<p>Then, a few nests of the red beetles had gone missing, reported to him by a vort who had been taking care of them like stray pets. When Benrey had gone to investigate, he'd found out exactly what happened to that set of humans, and he didn't feel a single bit of pity for them. Saved him from having to take care of them again. He collected the remaining beetles, and returned them to their home.</p>
<p>They sped up, after that. A pack of the three legged singing dogs had vanished into thin air. A few of the large fish had gone missing from the pond near the flower tree, one wounded to the point of needing immediate medical help.</p>
<p>And then a vort had gone missing. And enough was enough.</p>
<p>Benrey flew to each research station he had found, and destroyed everything he could find. He broke every object, tore apart every piece of armor, took out every single human. He tossed everything over the edge of a cliff like the garbage it was, everything except a dark helmet he had found in the wreckage he'd left behind. He put it on, calming a bit at the pressure around his head.</p>
<p>That calm was quickly shattered as something warped right next to him, grabbed him by the neck, and slammed him back against the cave wall hard enough for the ground to rumble. He choked and sputtered, claws digging into the arm of the creature that held him there, looking up.</p>
<p>The creature looked like a human man, but only just. He was in the shape of a human, certainly, but his strength and posture, let alone his brightly glowing eyes, were a blatant sign that that was not the case.</p>
<p>The eyes of the not-man flashed several colors, and it took Benrey a moment to translate. But when he did, his eyes opened wide. 'What are you doing here.'</p>
<p>Benrey struggled a bit more, before he gestured to his neck. He tried to sing out a note, but nothing came through.</p>
<p>The not-man raised an eyebrow, before releasing his grip slightly.</p>
<p>Benrey's sweet voice poured forth with a series of coughs, jumbled nonsense until he caught his breath again. Then, he sang. 'protecting.'</p>
<p>The not-man grit his teeth, eyes flashing. 'You're killing my charges.'</p>
<p>He growled back. 'and they're killing mine.'</p>
<p>The not-man shook him again. 'The only attacks they've reported have been you. Why.'</p>
<p>'because i protect them. that's what i do.' He flashed his teeth. 'you keep them away from here, and i won't have to kill them anymore.'</p>
<p>A sound of annoyance escaped the not-man. 'You do not know what trouble you cause. I'm trying to protect more than you can ever know. Dozens of scientists, you've killed.'</p>
<p>His sweet voice rang shrill for a moment, as he slipped in control of his anger. 'look, man. i don't care about your shit. i care about this shit. so, figure something out.' He struggled a bit in his grip. 'keep your bullshit 'Black Mesa' humans off of our xen. it's not yours.'</p>
<p>The not-man's eyes burned brighter as he stared at him, before they faded to a light blue smolder. He dropped Benrey to the ground, adjusting his tie. His eyes flashed again. 'Fine. They will not return again.'</p>
<p>'deals' a deal. you keep them from coming here, old benrey won't kill them here. promise.' He pressed a clawed hand over his chest.</p>
<p>The not-man stared at him.</p>
<p>'it's b-e-n-r-e-y. benrey. with two e's.'</p>
<p>The not-man watched him for a moment longer, before he warped away again.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>The next time Benrey ran into the not-man, he knew his name. Mr. Coolatta was not at all happy to see him wandering around the pocket of Black Mesa, especially not after their last encounter. He held up his hands, before the man could lash out. "hey! uh, don't? don't please?"</p>
<p>Mr. Coolatta snarled, as the world went blue. "What, the hell, are you. Doing. Here."</p>
<p>"uhh, followed someone. needed to protect him."</p>
<p>"Who."</p>
<p>Benrey struggled for a moment, before he sang out a series of colors.</p>
<p>Mr. Coolatta raised an eyebrow. "You've, been..."</p>
<p>"lookin' out for him, yeah. since. no one else was gonna do it. felt bad for him." He rolled his shoulders. "thought humans were supposed to be pack animals and shit."</p>
<p>He anger still simmered below the surface of Mr. Coolatta, it was easy enough to tell. Benrey was used to people being pissed at him, he could read the room.</p>
<p>"tell you what. i know you're not here right now."</p>
<p>He startled. "How-"</p>
<p>He shrugged. "well, you didn't pin me against a wall or throw me to the floor, so i just kinda guessed? but, i'm willing to offer a deal."</p>
<p>"Oh, another one. How, fun."</p>
<p>"look, man. i'm here, you're not. i'll keep an eye out for tommy, make sure he's doing okay, for you. we're like, best buds."</p>
<p>"Good."</p>
<p>Benrey smirked. "accepted the terms before i even told you. that's a good convo. speedrun that shit."</p>
<p>Mr. Coolatta startled. "Wait-"</p>
<p>"easy, man. all you owe me is a favor. sometime in the future. when i need to cash out." He smirked, giving a lazy salute. "anyway, you mind putting me back? tommy and i have lunch plans, sooo..."</p>
<p>Mr. Coolatta glared at him, before he warped away, world fading out of blue.</p>
<p>Benrey yawned, stretching his arms. He didn't mind running a con on the guy. Mr. Coolatta already hated him. And hey.</p>
<p>If he could get a free favor out of doing protection he already was doing, then well, that's just good business.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Day 8 - Break Night</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The Science Team has a hangout night.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I didn't expect this to be a from Tommy's perspective drabble, but I'm very glad that it is.<br/>And more worldbuilding!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Most nights at the Morally Gray, Tommy was more than content to take part in the festivities. But sometimes, he liked to sit back and just take in the vibe, and the memories.</p>
<p>The Morally Gray was what the guards had named the under the table bar they'd put together in the lower levels, named in 'honor' of the scientists above. 'Because the Morally Bankrupt didn't roll off the tongue as well' had been quipped more than once, but each time he thought it was funny. They'd stocked it with resources they gathered on their own, though once Tommy had found out about it he'd put some of his own money into it. He liked their entrepreneurship!</p>
<p>Drinks had a cost, but just for them to be able to pay for more alcohol. And non alcohol, of course, mostly mocktails. But the guard who ran the Morally Gray half the nights made sure she always kept a stock of soda for Tommy. He stirred his drink with a smile, a 'Sunkist on the rocks', with an umbrella and an orange twist. Not too much ice, of course, so he still had room for his silly straw.</p>
<p>Sure, he technically worked in some of the more administrative areas of the building, but like, he wasn't a cop about it. His job was to keep people safe, which is why he'd invested money into the little bar, to make sure it was up to code. After that? Literally not his department's problem.</p>
<p>And how much it had grown. It was one of the most bumping places on the lower levels, though it wasn't quite difficult to manage that. They'd covered the windows to the room with blackout paper and curtains, hooked up neon lights of various colors and shapes, and had even managed to install some tables and seats. The bar was still left over from built in storage cabinets and two desks put together, but Tommy had put in a work order to his father, which they both planned to have filled by Christmas. There were two TVs near the bar, but neither were on. They tended to only get turned on when someone brought their game systems in for community tournament night, or if someone brought a VHS tape to watch.</p>
<p>Tommy sighed, content to watch and listen from his booth near the door. Sunkist was with him, lying down on the booth and his lap, also watching the people. He was a curious pup, but well behaved, especially when he wore his Service Dog vest. He wasn't allowed in the upper levels, other scientists getting upset about an animal in the labs, and Tommy hadn't known enough about the ADA to argue his case at the time. Now that he did, it wasn't worth the trouble. At least he could have Sunkist in his dorm, and he could come with him here.</p>
<p>He took another sip of his soda, looking to the table pulled up against the bar. Dr. Freeman and Calhoun had fallen into their usual pattern, slowly having drinks while playing poker and trash talking each other. Bets were between the two of them, but they always played with chips regardless. They usually operated on a 'whoever has the most points wins' kind of thing for their bets. Dr. Freeman laughed and ran a hand through his hair, which was loose that night, and sipped at his second rum and coke of the night. Calhoun groaned and complained about something or other, sulking a bit dramatically as he drank some local craft beer from the town far above.</p>
<p>Bubby was with the two this time, hollering and cackling as he cheered on whoever was actively winning at the time, moving over to stand behind whoever actively had his support. His drink often varied, though it was always alcohol free. They weren't entirely sure if it was safe for a guy who could just make fire to drink flammable liquids, and no one wanted there to be a night they really tested it. Usually he went for a lemonade and iced tea drink, but that night he was drinking a Shirley Temple, with extra cherries.</p>
<p>Dr. Coomer was at another nearby table, talking with Isaac and Eli animatedly about some recent research he had done. Isaac was already drunk on Manhattans, but he was always just happy to be out and spend time with people he cared about, and relaxing had always been hard for him since he was so high strung. When he was able to actually just loosen up, he was happy to just listen. Eli on the other hand was still drinking his first, and likely only, tequila sunrise of the night, and gladly talked with Dr. Coomer about his most recent hyperfixation.</p>
<p>Dr. Coomer himself was drinking the bar's most recent attempt at a 'punch'. Every month they would mix up a new batch of punch with different flavors, originally wanting to figure out something that could stick on the menu, but ending up with a rotating monthly pick which people liked anyway. He laughed, holding his mug with both hands to keep it steady. That month was fig punch, and the purple liquid would definitely stain if it spilled.</p>
<p>Eventually, Eli stood, holding out a hand to help Isaac to his feet as he invited Dr. Coomer to a Virtua Fighter 2 battle. Dr. Coomer laughed, standing and accepting his challenge. They both moved over to the more 'lounge' part of the bar, Isaac held up between them, before they got him situated on one of the nearby couches so they could play.</p>
<p>Calhoun finally gave up on their poker game, tossing his chips into the middle of the table and slowly standing with a stretch of his back. Bubby moved in to taunt and banter, and quickly challenged the other man to a few rounds of Area 51, while Dr. Freeman almost laughed himself ill. Calhoun moved over quickly to help steady him from his wheezes, before grinning at the other and accepting his terms. The three moved across the room, Dr. Freeman lying down on one of the other couches to recover from his laughing fit. He occasionally would whistle to get the two's attention, signing something to them that they would respond to, otherwise slowly playing with his Tangle.</p>
<p>Tommy closed his eyes for a moment, feeling the joy in his chest. When he opened them again, the world was blue, and his father was sitting across from him. He smiled. "I thought you didn't like bars?"</p>
<p>"Usually...I do not." He reached out to where the bartender was frozen, taking the seltzer water she had poured and taking a sip. "But I wished to...see where you, have, been...spending your time."</p>
<p>He smiled brighter. "It's- it's really great. They're- these humans are more resourceful than a batch of honeybees!"</p>
<p>His father's mouth twitched slightly, the closest to a smile he ever usually got these days. "They really, have...made a place for themselves, here." He took another sip. "Likely why you, spend your time here, correct?"</p>
<p>He laughed. "Am I really that- that obvious? I can't help it!"</p>
<p>"I know, Tommy. It's one of, your, more wonderful...traits. Your awe, with humans, and their...ability to, persevere, against all...odds."</p>
<p>He finished his soda, hand bouncing a bit as he set it back on the table. "They're just- just so- they're so interesting!"</p>
<p>"I know." His mouth twitched again, before he looked around the room. "The, supply request, will...be completed soon. I, look forward to...seeing how this looks, after, they have them put, in."</p>
<p>"Thank you, dad. They- they really need this." There's more meaning to his words than just the words themselves. They both know that.</p>
<p>"I know." His mouth twitched once more, and the two of them sat in silence in the frozen bar for a while, enjoying each other's company. Eventually, however, his father finished his seltzer, and set the cup down on the table.</p>
<p>"...Heading back to work?"</p>
<p>"Un, fortunately...yes." He reached out a hand to ruffle Tommy's hair. "However, I...hope you enjoy, the, rest of your...evening."</p>
<p>"Thank you, dad. I will."</p>
<p>The world shimmered and twisted, and the blue faded away. The bartender looked for her glass and blinked, confused as to where it had gone. Bubby turned to call for Tommy, complaining about Calhoun having cheated at the arcade cabinet. Calhoun and Dr. Freeman laughed, almost falling to the ground and off the couch respectively.</p>
<p>Sunkist hopped down off his lap, staring up at him with a calming but encouraging look.</p>
<p>Tommy smiled and stood, walking over to join his friends.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Day 9 - Strained Tones of a Dark Claret</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Benrey makes a choice, and Bubby helps him out.<br/>But this isn't a game.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning for discussion and some watching of of the betrayal, and all the things that entails.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Benrey didn't always have the best ideas, he'd admit that in a heartbeat if most people he cared about asked. But he honestly thought this had been a good one. ...Sort of.</p>
<p>It had been meant as a prank. He just wanted to fuck with the new guy, the guy who looked like their Gordon, but wrong. He called himself Gordon, wandered around a bit like Gordon, talked like a bit more sharp Gordon, but he wasn't Dr. Freeman. Benrey knew right off the bat.</p>
<p>Which meant he was probably Black Mesa sent. Which meant he was probably a threat. But, it also meant that he wasn't there, not really. Black Mesa's goons had never actually entered the pocket, always did stuff from afar. He'd heard them talking about some new tech, somehow getting 'test subjects' to be able to do life threatening work without putting their actual lives at risk. Last he'd heard, they were trying to get the patents through. But well, that had been a long time ago.</p>
<p>Point was, whatever their tech was to make a man appear without actually being there, meant that whatever happened to that person didn't actually matter. They couldn't die if they weren't there, right? Which meant he could do whatever he wanted to their new Gordon, and it wouldn't matter.</p>
<p>So, easy plan. He wanted to get Gordon jumped by the military, just for a little bit. Rough him up a little, scare him a bit. See how well he held up his clueless act under a bit more stress. It'd be funny.</p>
<p>And so he'd gone to Bubby about it, asking him for his advice. Used the trackers as an excuse to do it. And Bubby had been all over it.</p>
<p>"Perfect. We can play the soldiers like the idiots they are!" Bubby had grinned, clasping his hands together. "We give them Gordon, right? Buy our way onto their good side, get what info and supplies we can from them. Then, using the trackers, we hunt him back down, get him back, and tear down the military while they're caught off guard!"</p>
<p>"we're, uh, gonna have to hard sell this shit. play it up that we're giving him over."</p>
<p>"Oh I know that. I know how to act, Benrey." He moved his head slightly, probably rolling his eyes behind his glasses. "And hopefully he'll realize that we're being so over the top, that we have to have some kind of plan."</p>
<p>"perfect, bubby. you're a lifesaver."</p>
<p>And they'd gone through with it. Found a place to let Gordon get caught, played the part of vengeful ex-friends up to the moment. It was the perfect prank.</p>
<p>Until it wasn't.</p>
<p>Until Gordon's sounds of pain started to sink in as feeling far too real, to be pretend. Until his panic started to sound genuine. Until the blood curdling scream as his arm was severed.</p>
<p>Benrey took a step back, dark vision eyes locked onto Gordon as he whimpered and trembled on the floor. The blood, pouring out amongst the concrete. In that moment, the image shifted, showing him not Gordon, but other Black Mesa scientists, crumpled on the ground and wounded, bleeding out from wounds he'd caused. He hadn't felt sorry for them, they'd deserved it. And they shouldn't have been able to feel it, anyway.</p>
<p>It hit him, very abruptly, that they'd bled too. Those he'd attacked the various times, who had been 'visiting' from the main facility, they'd bled. And they'd died.</p>
<p>He wondered if they'd died back at Black Mesa, too.</p>
<p>He clipped backwards into the walls, horrified at what he had done. Gordon hadn't been acting, not like the others. The others, they'd broken character, begged for their lives. Gordon didn't break. Gordon was just...Gordon.</p>
<p>Was Gordon...what was he?</p>
<p>Benrey tore through the facility, clipping all around, searching for any data that he could. And when he did find some, his blood ran even colder than it normally did, skin fading from grey to a more sickening blue.</p>
<p>They'd been testing the technology to bring people into the pocket without being there. But in order to do so, they'd needed some sort of form for them to be able to control. Easy enough to manage, they had plenty of cloning supplies over in the pocket. But then, you'd have to be able to control it...</p>
<p>His breath hitched. They'd used their experiments to figure out what to do. They hadn't cloned people for the Neural Link, they'd created spare bodies, like they had created Bubby. They'd put the people in control of the bodies by studying Coomer's ability to 'hivemind', and found a way to induce that purposely. The Neural Link caused what they experienced to feel real. What they went through to effect them, as if it was real. As far as the research showed, it didn't seem to effect them entirely physically, but if their body in the pocket faltered...</p>
<p>'I just have to warn you, I felt everything they felt.' Dr. Coomer had said once, about the deaths of the clones he was hiveminding with. He had built up an endurance, somehow. Their deaths didn't risk his life, anymore. But those who hadn't, whos bodies didn't know any better, who just felt the nerve pain as something terrible happened to them...</p>
<p>According to the data he was reading, every scientist he'd killed in the pocket had died for real.</p>
<p>Benrey felt like he was going to be sick, and he dug his claws into his arms as he let out strained shrieks of Sweet Voice. His voice trembled and hurt to sing, as dark Claret orbs poured out of his lips and up to the roof. 'Strained tones of a dark Claret, means I am filled with so much regret...' He could almost hear Tommy translating for the others, if they had been there. But they hadn't been. He was alone.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>By the time he had a chance to think after he'd found Gordon again, he'd done enough research to know what to do. He reached out with energy, latching onto the connection of the Link, and followed it to the body that currently was wounded and wandering around the pocket. He focused on protection, on safety, on healing. And as he stood at the top of the hydroelectric dam, singing out Sweet Voice into the air, he exerted his protection over Gordon.</p>
<p>It would hurt Benrey if he had to do it for too long, but he could recover. He wasn't afraid. Nothing else had killed him for good yet. And if he could at least make up for this mistake...well, he'd do almost anything, to make amends.</p>
<p>He knew how this would end. Heard Gordon's angry words. Maybe, if he kept the other man safe, he could have his revenge. His catharsis. And then, maybe, when Benrey respawned, the two could talk. On equal footing. Two men, from universes apart, stuck in the pocket of one hell-company. They had more in common than they might think.</p>
<p>Yeah. Benrey smiled a bit. He'd die for that. He'd gladly die for that.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Benrey pretends he's super chill after the events because that's how he copes. He is not at all okay about it, and man he and Bubby and Gordon really need to talk, actually.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Day 10 - Dropping In</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dr. Freeman didn't always take the right vents, when he was racing to unlock a certain office.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dr. Freeman wasn't exactly proud of the situation he'd caused, but he couldn't be disappointed in himself either. He'd done it to himself, after all.</p>
<p>It had all started with a bet a few months ago. Calhoun had fallen into Kleiner's office after Dr. Freeman had already climbed through the vents to unlock it himself, and Calhoun had laughed. Said something at the time about liking a little friendly competition.</p>
<p>And it had led to a situation where no matter what the other was working on, the second they heard someone was crawling through the vents, they practically dove for the closest one and took off through the air system.</p>
<p>Which had led to right then, as he struggled through an unfamiliar part of the ventilation system, in a direction that he didn't even know anymore, all because of his overly competitive nature. If he was honest, he was feeling his claustrophobia kick up. Normally he could handle it, when he was somewhere he knew, somewhere he knew he could get help at a moment's notice. And honestly, their vent races had been sincerely helping him with said claustrophobia.</p>
<p>But in those moments, as he realized just how lost he was, he felt his panic rising again. He scrambled forward, breathing starting to pick up, and he kicked his feet into the metal in frustration.</p>
<p>Which had led to the vent cover he had kicked on accident completely giving and falling to the ground with a clatter, and sent him pitching backwards out of the vent onto the floor with a wince. He heard someone swear as he fell, but he was too focused on trying not to have a panic attack.</p>
<p>Abruptly, he felt a hand on his arm, and he let out a strangled noise of fear, flailing about. He couldn't see, where had his glasses fallen- A hand pressed more firmly on his shoulder, someone slipping his glasses into place as he was held there. He blinked slowly, as he came back to himself.</p>
<p>"Stop fucking moving, I don't know if you hurt yourself or not." It was Bubby that had cursed, it seemed. The older scientist looked up at the vent above. "That's not too high..."</p>
<p>Dr. Freeman's mental filter must have dented when he fell, because he had no impulse control. "Your vent is loose."</p>
<p>"Yeah, no shit." Bubby looked back down at him. "Did you hit your head when you fell?"</p>
<p>"I don't remember." At least that was an easy question, though it definitely wasn't the answer the other man had wanted.</p>
<p>"...Why the hell were you in the vents, anyway?"</p>
<p>"Isaac locked his keys in his office again."</p>
<p>Bubby raised an eyebrow. Dr. Freeman didn't know why. "...That's all the way across the facility."</p>
<p>"I was over here."</p>
<p>"...Well, I'm sure Calhoun won by now. Let's just...get you out of my lab, okay? You need to see medical, I'm not convinced you don't have a concussion."</p>
<p>He had found out, once finally at one of the medical stations, that he did indeed have a concussion, which had resulted in a bunch of panicked apologies from Calhoun, and Dr. Coomer taking care of him for the night to make sure he was okay. He was given two days off from work, and told multiple times by upper management to stop doing dumb shit.</p>
<p>He didn't remember the telling off when he was feeling better.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>The next time he went crashing through a vent, it was honestly Calhoun's fault.</p>
<p>They were both in the same area at the time the call came through, and Calhoun had pushed him back a bit to get a head start. He'd chosen the longer, but more traveled vent system.</p>
<p>So obviously, to compete, Dr. Freeman had to take the shorter, but less used and practiced in vent system. Which had gone just fine, at first, with him making steady progress that he could track through the ducts.</p>
<p>Until he put too much pressure on his arm, and heard a metal groan below him, as the vent cover gave and swung open. He flailed as he fell, before trying to protect his face, but he never touched the floor. He slowly opened his eyes, blinking in confusion.</p>
<p>"Ah, hello Gordon!"</p>
<p>He immediately relaxed. "Hey, Dr. Coomer." He'd fallen in the break room, it looked like, and while the guards and other scientists seemed startled at the events, Dr. Coomer looked as happy as ever, even when holding Dr. Freeman just above the floor.</p>
<p>"What were you doing in that vent? You never use that one for travel." He set the younger man back on his feet, before helping to dust him off.</p>
<p>"Thanks. Uh, I was trying to beat Calhoun. He picked the better vent, had to take that one to make up for lost time."</p>
<p>"Well, you are ahead on the scoreboard, so I suppose losing this one isn't so bad. Besides!" He pointed up. "It let us know that this duct system needs to be checked for proper maintenance!"</p>
<p>"Always glad to help." He chuckled quietly, adjusting his glasses.</p>
<p>"Now, you likely must be going. I'm sure that Isaac will need your assistance with whatever he has planned for today." He pat the other man on the back. "Stay safe out there, Gordon!"</p>
<p>"Of course, Dr. Coomer."</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>The third time, he felt targeted. And he knew he was. And he couldn't even really be mad about it.</p>
<p>He'd gotten a notice on his pager about the locked office, and had taken off from a different than usual location again. But he'd tracked the vents on his way in, and had an idea of which ones would get him closer to the entrance of the building, at which point he could hop out and run to the correct building.</p>
<p>But as he hurried as quietly as he could through the administrative building, he tried to avoid any of the vent covers below him. But there was one he couldn't avoid, so he tried to be as careful as possible instead.</p>
<p>His efforts didn't work, and the vent swung open at the lightest pressure, causing him to tumble out head first and land on his back...on a couch. The vent cover swung back and forth above him, as he stared for a few moments.</p>
<p>"Oh! Mr. Freeman!"</p>
<p>He looked over to the desk, seeing Tommy's smiling face. "...Hey, Tommy. Uh..."</p>
<p>"I'm s-sorry to play a trick, Mr. Freeman, but uhm, there's- there's no locked office."</p>
<p>"...You sent a fake alert to my pager?"</p>
<p>Tommy clasped his hands together. "I- yeah...you haven't been taking care of yourself lately! The others- they've told me all about how- how you've been skipping lunch, and- and so...I thought I could make you come here, and you- you would have no excuse!"</p>
<p>He blinked repeatedly. "...You faked an office call on my pager, to get me to scramble through the vents, so I'd fall into your office, and you could make me have lunch?"</p>
<p>Tommy clapped his hands with another smile. "That's- that's correct!"</p>
<p>He slowly pushed himself to sit up, shaking his head. "...Well, I guess I can't really say no now, huh?"</p>
<p>"Well- you could, but I'd- I'd be sad." He smiled a bit smaller. "I made food!"</p>
<p>"Thank you, Tommy."</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>There were numerous other times that he fell out of vents, and numerous times that Calhoun was the one to fall on his ass instead. It had turned into part of their little bet, their challenges, their games. Everyone got roped into it, even if they were the only two doing the crawling.</p>
<p>It had been so long since he had held those memories.</p>
<p>Dr. Freeman held them close, as he crawled through the vents, cold and shivering, damp and wounded. He was as quiet as possible, practically slipping through the vent system. After so long in the HEV suit, he'd forgotten how much easier it was to sneak around in plain clothes. And he'd gotten very good at it.</p>
<p>He could hide for as long as he needed to. All he needed to do was wait.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Teaser at the end? Teaser at the end.</p>
<p>Also when Bubby swore he absolutely spun around ready to burn whatever had broken into his lab and he just barely kept from chucking fire at Dr. Freeman. He never brought it up again.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Day 11 - Perspective and Refraction</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Bubby was Bubby. He knew that was all he was. Others disagree.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I will be honest, I had no prompt for today and 1 hour to get a piece done, so I just sat down and put my hands to keyboard and this fell out.<br/>I hadn't meant to write a Bubby reflection piece, especially not with a vent phrase of mine, but oops here we are with a little bit of projection.<br/>Confused can have a little bit of projection. As a treat.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Bubby listened.</p><p>He was almost always listening to conversations around him, no matter what they were about. It had been a habit he'd picked up after his creation, when he was kept locked away in his labs, unable to do much except watch and, well, listen. But he kept doing it, even after he was allowed to wander more. He couldn't help it. It was a defense at that point, keep listening to those around you to make sure they aren't a threat.</p><p>Everything was to be treated as a threat until proven otherwise. And very few things were ever proven otherwise.</p><p>Even then, as they sat outside, truly outside, in the dusty dirt hidden away in the middle of Black Mesa, he couldn't help but listen.</p><p>He was gladly listening to Harold, as he sat next to him on a blanket, eagerly explaining the stars and their history to Tommy. That was easy to listen to.</p><p>He also heard Tommy's breaths, and Sunkist's ever so often sighs, from where the two were lying. Tommy was lying in the dirt, head and shoulders resting against Sunkist's side like a pillow. His eyes were closed, and his jacket was pulled over him like a blanket. He could tell from the breathing that Tommy wasn't asleep, but he was at rest, which was unfortunately uncommon for the younger man.</p><p>And he definitely heard the quiet conversation going on a bit away from them, even as one party tried to remain quiet.</p><p>"Barney. Please, he's right there." Dr. Freeman whispered, nervously adjusting his grip on his contraband beer.</p><p>"Yeah, I know. I'm not scared of him." Calhoun sighed, running a hand through his hair, guard helmet discarded in the sand. "I just don't wanna scare him, man. Thought askin' you would be better."</p><p>"It's really not my place to tell you about his personal life." He quickly took a sip of said beer.</p><p>Bubby stood, fingers twitching at his sides as he moved over to the two.</p><p>"I'm just trying to figure out what I should and shouldn't say."</p><p>He stopped, hand in the air, a moment away from bursting alight, and he blinked.</p><p>Dr. Freeman stared up at Bubby, anxiously. "Uh...what do you mean, Barney?" He gave a nervous smile.</p><p>Bubby frowned, but lowered his hand a bit.</p><p>"I just..." Calhoun groaned, pressing his hand against his forehead. "I don't want him to be scared. Around me? Us, I guess? If I know what shit to avoid, then I can make sure the others do too. Don't even have to explain why." He huffed. "I'm not a cop or anything. I'm a guard. I'm supposed to protect. Keepin' people from getting harmed in the first place is part of protecting."</p><p>"You're the first person I've ever met who felt that way." Bubby dropped his hand fully, to cross his arms.</p><p>"Uh-"</p><p>"Heyyyy, Bubby." Dr. Freeman gave another nervous smile, which quickly wilted under the glare. "Uh, I-"</p><p>"I heard." He straightened up, looking down at Calhoun. "Ask your question. You get one."</p><p>"What were they testing?"</p><p>It took every ounce of his being to not light the guard ablaze. The only reason he didn't was he could smell the alcohol from there. The man was tipsy. He didn't know what was coming out of his mouth.</p><p>"Barney!"</p><p>"I'm askin' because- because look, all I know about ya' is you can catch shit on fire, you're friends with Coomer who's in the cloning project, and these people really don't wanna let you have a scrap of freedom." Calhoun straightened his own posture where he sat, raising his eyes to meet Bubby's gaze. "What's got them so scared of you findin' out what living feels like?"</p><p>The bluntness, the bravery, and the wording of the question caught Bubby off guard. "...I'm sorry?"</p><p>"Because the way I figure it-" He hiccupped. "Is that- you're a person, yeah? You're a person. People've got- got needs, got wants. Got dreams. Yours, as far as I can figure, was just to be outside." He didn't drop his gaze. "So what the hell are they doing? What have they done to think they deserve to rob a man of experiencing even the most basic shit of life?"</p><p>He wasn't used to someone being so blunt, but...caring. He could hear in the words, Calhoun was angry, but not at him. He was angry on his behalf. And that alone disarmed him immediately. "They made me." The words fell out of his mouth before he could stop them. "To be the perfect scientist."</p><p>"So? What kinda scientist doesn't get to learn about the world around him? Isn't that the entire point?" His shoulders dropped from their tenseness, but he kept staring. "So they made you. So what? You're still a man." He blinked. "Or, a person, at least. You're whatever you wanna be. But like, you're a person. You're human."</p><p>"I can create fire. I'm not human." Bubby snarled.</p><p>"Some people can learn hundreds of digits of pi, or generate enough bioelectricity to shock something." He grit his teeth, meeting his anger. "Doesn't mean shit about being human."</p><p>"I'm not human!" He shouted, ends of his labcoat smoldering. He struggled to maintain control, to lower his arms to his sides, and he didn't notice for a bit that he was panting. Everyone was startled, and looking up at him with worry...</p><p>Except for Calhoun. Calhoun looked up at him like he was on the edge of finally getting the answer he'd been searching for.</p><p>"...Not in the ways that matter." His shoulders fell, and his hands tightly gripped his arms digging his nails into his coat.</p><p>"Bullshit."</p><p>His anger flared up immediately, defensiveness rising. "What the fuck do you mean bullshit?"</p><p>Calhoun stood, jabbing Bubby in the chest. "You're human. You live, you breathe, you bleed. You're just like us, only difference is your life was a whole lot shittier." His hands grabbed Bubby's wrists, pulling them away to keep him from hurting himself. "Look, I get it. You're defensive as hell because you're hurt. People fucked you up, made you feel like shit. Lesser. But look around, man."</p><p>Bubby did so, nervously, watching the looks of his friends. Dr. Freeman looked concerned, Harold was smiling softly, Tommy was on guard.</p><p>"You're a person. You've got friends, you've got family. You're outside, seeing the stars, finally starting to live life." He shook him lightly. "All these brilliant minds around you, plus my dumb ass. Plus the other two of the team. We all know you're human, no matter what shit you try to peddle. If you won't believe me, at least believe the smart ones?"</p><p>"...I..."</p><p>"Or at least believe Alyx. I swear, she can see right through a person."</p><p>Bubby started to shake.</p><p>Harold moved close, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. "I've got him now, Calhoun. Thank you."</p><p>Calhoun blinked abruptly, taking his hands back. "...Shit, sorry. Didn't mean to be so...I know he doesn't like touchy, I just..."</p><p>"It's quite alright. Thank you for looking out for him." He smiled a bit. "...Hopefully one day, he'll believe us when we say those words to him." He quickly led back to the blanket, pulling Bubby close.</p><p>Bubby looked up at the stars again, as Harold started to explain once more, but his mind tried to wander.</p><p>He didn't let it. He put those thoughts away in a box, to be opened again later. Or even better, perhaps not at all. And he put it away in a place in his mind that hopefully wouldn't shake loose.</p><p>And as he focused more on the words, he smiled to himself, sure that he had finally gotten his emotions under control. He wouldn't have another outburst about feelings, or thoughts, or being human. He was better than that. The box was locked away.</p><p>-</p><p>And it was.</p><p>For a while.</p><p>Until he tried to die on his own terms, instead of let someone kill him themselves.</p><p>Until he'd woken up in a room so close to his own, but not quite.</p><p>Until he'd done test after test, not knowing what was wrong, but feeling something was off.</p><p>Until the first Cascade, as he tried to escape with his ragtag group of what he realized were truly friends.</p><p>Until he betrayed one of the only people who cared about him.</p><p>Until the lights faded out in a worn down Chuck E Cheese, and he realized for a moment that he felt safe.</p><p>Until he ran for an elevator, after the second Cascade, desperately trying to lock the box away, to hold it closed as the cardboard fell apart.</p><p>Until his memories hit him like a truck, and he remembered. Remembered what it felt like to be cared for. To care in return. To feel safe, again.</p><p>Until he screamed for his friend to abandon him to live, and his friend said No.</p><p>Until his friend's life was in danger, and he threw his life on the line, to try to save him.</p><p>Until he floated in his tube, hand pressed against the glass, with nothing left to give. And nothing to focus on but the memories of a life long missed. To be held onto like scraps of paper in the wind.</p><p>'You're human.' He repeated those memories over and over. 'You're human. You're human.'</p><p>'You're human, in all the ways that matter.'</p><p>He still did not believe them. But he held onto them.</p><p>He'd hold forever, if he had to.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Day 12 - Tapestry of Thoughts and Lives</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Mr. Coolatta has a lot of time to...reflect.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here we are. At the end of the drabble collection.<br/>I have more backstory pieces that I want to share with you at some point, there's a ton more world building that I've done than has been able to fit within these pieces.<br/>But thank you all for reading. This is the first time I have ever actually completed this writing challenge, in all the years I've tried it. It means more to me than you know.<br/>Happy holidays, everyone.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy was different to his father.</p>
<p>All children are, of course. Even when made by a creature, unless they were a direct copy, they would be different. This is a constant of the universe.</p>
<p>But his difference was quite noticeable, right from the beginning. Tommy was excitable, always curious, always wanting to learn. He wasn't afraid. What, after all, was there to be afraid of as a child under such safe care? And even if there was danger to be afraid of, he'd been taught quite early about the nature of their species. Hard to destroy.</p>
<p>Why would he be afraid?</p>
<p>Mr. Coolatta envied him, sometimes. His son's carefree attitude, his persistence on sticking to compassion, his earnest desire to learn of other species. All things that he had never had, himself. But when the envy rose, he would crush it quickly. It did nothing, to dwell on the past.</p>
<p>And, after all, wasn't the point as a parent to make a life for your child that was better than your own?</p>
<p>Tommy wasn't a completely easy child to raise. Children weren't supposed to be. Children were supposed to be children, and parents were to adapt. This is another constant. And for Tommy, he'd had to adapt.</p>
<p>He wasn't a copy, but he had many traits of his father. Luckily, Mr. Coolatta was able to recognize them, help him learn how to adapt at an early age. He taught him the language of colors, when the boy struggled to learn his voice. He taught him how to move his body in a way to express his excitement, or to vent his frustrations. He taught him calming sounds to make, to help himself return to ease.</p>
<p>There were so many lessons to learn. And all between different jobs he'd had to take. He was worried he wouldn't have enough time. The man who was used to having complete control over his time, suddenly realized that even freezing time might not be enough. If not even endless time was enough...what could one do?</p>
<p>Well, he thought to himself as he straightened his tie, one can do the best one can.</p>
<p>He taught Tommy of conflict, and how to mitigate it. How to protect himself, should he have to. What empathy was, even if it was a lesson that he himself still struggled with. Emotions in general were difficult for him to explain, and he knew he processed them differently from his son. But he tried his best. And he hoped that would be enough.</p>
<p>When Tommy had gotten a bit older, and decided his interest was in humans, Mr. Coolatta had a moment of fear, worry flowing through him for his son to follow in his footsteps. He didn't want his son to have to do that. But if he became attached...</p>
<p>He reached up, alone in his room, to tug lightly at the glowing yellow cord that filled his left wing. The cord had completely wrapped up and covered both of his wings, shielding them from anything else. He'd never seen cords of life behave like that before. Of course his son would be so protective, even his own cord of life would react in a protective way.</p>
<p>Hidden beneath the yellow near the base of his left wing, was a single white cord, tangled between the frame of the wing a few times. It didn't glow, but it was stuck fast. A small pale cord was tied between two sections of the white cord, color still not set.</p>
<p>He let the yellow cord return, reaching to his other wing. The glowing cord was too tightly wound over that wing, to allow him to see the cords hiding beneath, and he let out a sigh. It seemed that his son would indeed be getting attached.</p>
<p>He never should have taken Tommy to Earth with him.</p>
<p>But if the attachment was already forming, there wasn't much more harm in returning. He would find his way there regardless.</p>
<p>There were a few things he still hadn't taught him, on purpose. Mortality was one of those things. And humans...humans were so damn fragile. So mortal. They required so much protection, so much care, or they would break, and...</p>
<p>...Well. Best not to dwell on the past.</p>
<p>He could only look to the future. That was all that mattered.</p>
<p>He eventually sat Tommy down, telling him many things. Telling him about humans, and how distressingly mortal they were. And about what protection he could give them.</p>
<p>"When you one day find someone who is important to you, for whatever reason they may be," He spoke in the tones of the stars, a tongue he hadn't spoken in for so long before he'd had Tommy. He had to teach him. He may not have grown up where he was from, but he should at least know how to speak if he wanted to. And how to understand, regardless. His eyes flashed as he spoke, to help him understand more clearly. "You will feel this tug on your heart. When you have a chance to be alone, seek out where this pull was, and you will find this." He let his right wing free, stretching it out to allow him to look at it.</p>
<p>Tommy stared in awe. "Yellow."</p>
<p>"Yes. But yours that you find may not be yellow. But this, is called a 'cord'." He had peeked forward onto Earth, just wanting a quick glimpse to check on a job, but had seen his son. And a friend of his son. Someone he hadn't met, on prior visits. He reached into his jacket now, pulling out a midnight green cord in his hands.</p>
<p>"...I don't see it."</p>
<p>"Focus, Tommy. Close your eyes, and search."</p>
<p>He did so, reaching out with his hand as he tried. He relaxed a bit. "Green. Weird green?"</p>
<p>He chuckled. "Green, yes. A dark green. This is a cord. This is how it will be when you find one, in a different color. You must keep it safe, and protect it. And one day, with how you are? And how much care you have to give?" He put the cord away, leaning forward to ruffle Tommy's hair. "You'll have brilliant, multicolor wings."</p>
<p>"Why's yours yellow, if you're blue, and have that green?"</p>
<p>He pulled his son into a hug. "Because you are the one I care for the most, Tommy. The one I wish to keep the safest." He smiled faintly. "The dark green cord will be yours, in the future. But for now, I am...keeping him- ...keeping the cord safe. Until you can have this shade of cord for yourself."</p>
<p>"Do I know him?" Once again, too curious for his own good.</p>
<p>"Yes. But not yet. You will, though." He hummed. "One day, you will."</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>In the future, not too far forward from then but not too soon either, Mr. Coolatta was in a room he'd taken when he'd started his job involving Black Mesa, world frozen blue. He sighed, sitting down on the bed, letting his wings out. As he checked over the cords, he felt a sadness as he felt the glowing yellow cords looser than before. Once they had been held taught. But now, even Tommy's persistence was faltering. He was a terrible father, asking his son to do such work for him. He shook his head. He knew he had no choice. His son had gotten attached. He was their best bet for safety.</p>
<p>He pulled the yellow cord aside gently on the left, checking the cords beneath. The white cord was intact, and he was grateful for that, though it had become tinged with a bit of yellow over time. The smaller cord had grown in length, and wrapped around the longer cord. It was another white cord, but every once and a while it would shimmer with a faint orange or blue tone.</p>
<p>He pressed a hand to the other wing, unwilling to fight with the cord. He didn't want to risk exhausting Tommy and more than he already was. But the five woven cords below, including the midnight green, were still together, held taught. The green one was a bit frayed, but steady.</p>
<p>He leaned backwards until he fell against the bed, letting out another sigh. He just needed to wait a little bit longer. He'd found a possible location. Now all he needed to do was get the components there, and wait.</p>
<p>He'd waited, he'd made his son wait, for so many years.</p>
<p>What was another week?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>To be clear, the cords that are hidden from view in the wing in the final segment were meant to be described in color to tease/hint to who they belong to. However, (even after literally hours of searching without spoiling myself for a game I haven't played yet) I could not find the color of subtitles of these characters in time for this piece (and one of the characters as far as I'm aware has never had a speaking role). I intended to leave them vague, to fill in the blanks later. But as I could not do so, I will tell you the undescribed cords.<br/>They are Isaac Kleiner, Eli Vance, his wife Azian Vance, and Alyx.</p>
<p>The other cords are either able to be deciphered in this way, or have their own hint to determine who it belongs to.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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